HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
