What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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