i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
