I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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