Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
