I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
