I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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