K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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