dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
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So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
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I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...