When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
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It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.