i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize