Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
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We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.