Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested