i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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