You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
