She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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