Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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