So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
