It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
