She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Damn victory sex feels great
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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