she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
