bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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