It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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