she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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