i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
