I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
