That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
