so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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