Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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