She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
