Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
