Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
