Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
