he puts the penis in happiness.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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