His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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