Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
In America we eat man semen.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
