I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
