google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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