Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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