Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
