We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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