Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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