i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
