I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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