sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
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we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
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I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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