i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
