sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
