Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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