look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
