Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
