Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
