in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my liver is dry heaving
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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