we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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