Is it normal to miss your booty call?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He better not be in your backpack
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
