Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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