Umm I'm too high to move.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
