I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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