The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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