I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize