ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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