Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize