And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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