You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am mentally ready for anal.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
