And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
