I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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