Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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