I will die if light touches me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
