I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wish I only lived at night.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
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I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
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Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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